i crumbled.
succumbed to my childish tendencies, and accused negligence, when really it was my sensitivity that ought to be changed.
but i appreciate the patience
depend on it
need it.
need to be told im being whiny and overly sensitive and childish.
for not considering the same level of emotion.
i should stop it.
Saturday, 22 August 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
just because it strikes me that sometimes I have things to say,
but no one to say it to. or no one i particularly want to say it to.
but just because my emotions are crucial to me, and I don't often get the chance
to say as I wish
to feel what I wish.
and how do I know if what I'm thinking is what I'm meant to.
selfvalidation is an important thing to selfrealization, and sometimes I wonder enough abt myself, and my thoughts,
to question their rightness, or appropriateness.
does it truly matter that your emotions aren't standard to everyone elses, that people have the same experience but different emotions
does it matter any longer, when what you feel is your emotions. yours and no others.
feeling slightly squashed under expectations, and not just that of other people.
why is it that sometimes you're so sure of who you are, and then it all crumbles
and you're left staring at the debris
and wondering if there was even any glue holding you together before.
or were you just a cleverly arranged structure of rocks that was meant to crumble at first breeze.
does it matter truly what lay underneath if the facade's so neatly arranged and constructed.
the first instinct is to say yes, of course. but what if you look before the surface and realize a truth about yourself that makes it hard to continue
hard to even be a facade again. let's not even talk about bringing the underneath above.
but no one to say it to. or no one i particularly want to say it to.
but just because my emotions are crucial to me, and I don't often get the chance
to say as I wish
to feel what I wish.
and how do I know if what I'm thinking is what I'm meant to.
selfvalidation is an important thing to selfrealization, and sometimes I wonder enough abt myself, and my thoughts,
to question their rightness, or appropriateness.
does it truly matter that your emotions aren't standard to everyone elses, that people have the same experience but different emotions
does it matter any longer, when what you feel is your emotions. yours and no others.
feeling slightly squashed under expectations, and not just that of other people.
why is it that sometimes you're so sure of who you are, and then it all crumbles
and you're left staring at the debris
and wondering if there was even any glue holding you together before.
or were you just a cleverly arranged structure of rocks that was meant to crumble at first breeze.
does it matter truly what lay underneath if the facade's so neatly arranged and constructed.
the first instinct is to say yes, of course. but what if you look before the surface and realize a truth about yourself that makes it hard to continue
hard to even be a facade again. let's not even talk about bringing the underneath above.
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